Today marks my anniversary (or some people say birthday) of being cancer free for three years. There is so much that I want to say, but struggling to put it on paper.
I have so many emotions swirling around.
This is a club that I never asked to be in. A path and an adventure that God somehow thought I needed to be on. What did he want me to learn? What does he need me to change in my life? What wisdom was I supposed to absorb to make me a better person? How would I utilize all of the information I gathered during the long treatment process?
There are so many negatives in the fight against cancer. Yet, there are just as many positives that need to be mentioned as well. HMMM! Instead of having my emotions feel like a feather in the wind, drifting around…potentially never landing on something solid, this might be the time to actually write them down.
I recently saw an interview where a cancer patient was asked what it felt like to have cancer. I don’t think I would ever ask a person in the middle of the ‘fight’ to answer that. I think I would have blubbered like an idiot if someone had asked me this. While in treatment, you are so focused…often with blinders…..to get to the finish line ahead of the disease. Looking over your shoulder constantly to see if the cancer has caught up to you, praying that you can outrun it. Often times, the unfortunate people stricken with cancer don’t ‘feel’ until they have crossed that painted checkerboard.
It’s time to give myself a challenge. I have had enough time to process the cancer beast inside. No more excuses….and it might just help me put everything into perspective to make it easier to move on, AND to help others in my situation. By April 30, 2012 I will post “What it feels like to have Cancer”. The good, the bad, the ugly…BUT, it will need to be a short, easy read that doesn’t bore myself ….and YOU!
Game on….can’t wait…..looking forward to it!
For those of you shaking your heads, questioning the content lately……a little less thinking and a little more food and crafts.
Yeah, I know that’s what your thinking!
I promise this weekend to post an unbelievable recipe for Salted Caramel Chocolate Chip Bars. This is for all you Starbuck’s lovers….salted caramel hot chocolate…OH MY!